scraps of broken dreams

well one of my few friends in army is having his birthday on the 5th of May. so today we went to joe’s to celebrate his birthday. it was fun! at the same time, another guy from my team will be leaving us. going to  BMTC2  Tekong.  sigh. it seems my Ma’ams have high hopes on me. suddenly, i was reminded about that phrase that Rev Abel Thomas preacher about the last time he was here, he said “the more skilled you are, the more dangerous you are because PEOPLE TRUST YOU.” sometimes i think about all these wonderful things God has given me, i just cant help but feel so unworthy and lowly. like why would someone who sees my evil, my sin and my disastrous life bestow so much favour on me? that’s why i always just feel this need to be the best i can be so that i won’t forsake the expectations on me. trusting God to carry me through each project i’m given. sigh. my heart has not felt light and unburdened in a long time. i need help. i’m lonely.