scraps of broken dreams

hmm. i should prolly be sleeping now but i have to get this off my chest. ever since my break up, my emotions have been running rampant. destroying all my little pillars in my life called principles. everything i once stood for doesn’t seem to hold true anymore except one, my Jesus. But of late, i am never able to feel His guidance. i feel alone. i hide too much from the world, too much from my parents, too much from everyone who loves me. sometimes i feel like i have to let all these secrets out, so that my vindication may begin. but what if my secrets are all too dark and filled with deceit and consumes my entire being if they were let out, like a dark plague of imps and bats swarming over a small town setting it ablaze amidst the darkness of an eternal night. sigh. my life has been built on something known as escapism. my own escape. my alternate reality. when the break up happened i realized i was not the boss of my world something far greater was. right now, i should just sleep hopefully i wake up to a land where everyone worships me and i call my shots.

Escapism, what a fascinating little thing. my sweet escape.

You are my freedom.

iloveyou. ahaw.